Educate Yourself About Black History EVERY Month

Stop! Don’t skip this post just yet. You may be thinking, oh, I know my history. Slavery ended with the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863 (which, some may argue, didn’t actually free slaves in the Northern states). Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated on April 4, 1968 while standing on the balcony of his Lorraine Hotel room balcony in Memphis, TN. Oprah Winfrey is the first Black female billionaire after building the production empire better known as Harpo, Inc. The 9 to 0 decision of the Supreme Court in 1954 in favor of the collective represented in Brown v. Board of Education was the damning blow to the Goliath better known as Jim Crow (at least, that’s what they tell us).

Okay, touché and a two pats on the back for you. You’ve clearly stayed awake through more than one Black History Month program. Without a doubt, the heroes and sheroes listed above played a huge role in the opportunities we have today, but they have almost become pop icons because their names have been thrown around so much and with less and less impact. These names merely scratch the surface of who we are, where we come from, and the ancestors who fought, cried, and died for us to have the opportunities we have.

First, if you don’t take anything else away from this post, take this: YOUR HISTORY, YOUR LEGACY, YOUR HERITAGE DID NOT – LET ME REPEAT, DID NOT – BEGIN WITH SLAVERY! Sorry for getting worked up, but that needed to be said. Your people (assuming you’re African American) were Kings, Queens, and Pharaohs far before the first trip through the Middle Passage. So, please don’t buy into the thought that your history begins there. Once you recognize that wealth, culture, pride, and a slue of other positive attributes stem from your heritage, it gives you a different sense of pride in your being an African-American. Shouldn’t it? Be honest with me, didn’t your chest puff up a little bit? Mine did when I typed it.

Obviously, it was easiest for me to begin with “race.” (Race is in quotes because there is nothing in our DNA that tells the world to mark us as Black, African American, etc. Instead, our Four Fathers and their Four Fathers needed a way to “keep us inline” (read: inferior) so, they began this whole categorizing process – i.e. white, black, Asian, other – that we now call “race”). Don’t get me started; I could go on to write an entire book on the “race” conspiracy.
Any who, knowing your history as an African American is only the first step. After all, aren’t you a woman also? Well then, there is another body of history out there that you should be abreast of (ha, a breast of…women…sorry…I couldn’t help myself…keep reading). Less than a century ago, women in America didn’t have the right to vote. To this day, women are still paid cents to the dollar compared to their male counterparts. Images and stereotypes of woman continue to be overly sexual, emotional, and nurturing creatures hang over our heads. Do you know who Mary Church Terrell is? What about Belva Lockwood? First woman CEO? What women fought for what you seek today; an opportunity to attend higher education institutions in classes with men and move ahead of men corporate organizations?

In order to pay homage to these heroes and sheroes, learn about them. I’m asking you to dig deeper than the history books offered during your typical “Black History Month” tributes, because we have to remember that these were often written by white Americans for white Americans. You can take that to mean whatever you like, but that isn’t the history I’m asking you to brush up on. Instead, I am charging you with the task of reading from some of our greatest Black authors. Read the Talented Tenth and dissect the strengths and weaknesses of W.E.B. DuBois’ central arguments. Read the collections of letters of slaves. Watch Ironjawed Angels, the reenactment of the Woman’s Suffrage Movement. Discuss them with friends. Most importantly, remember that without their sacrifice, you would not have the opportunities that you have today.

Now, I know I may lose some of you in this last section, but I’m willing to do so. Some of you may have been told this in the spirit of patriotism, but if you don’t love America, go to another country ((read: go back where you came from.)) This, I believe. Have you been to a second or third world country? What is the extent of poverty you’ve seen? Have you seen oppression beyond that which you live? I haven’t, honestly, but I know that the freedoms and liberties that we enjoy in America are unmatched in many countries and cultures around the world. So, you owe to yourself and to your country to know your history as an American citizen. What’s your State’s capital? Who is your Senator? What does s/he stand for? Which President established Thanksgiving as a national holiday? Who coined the term “affirmative action?” Which women are argued to have received the first electoral votes for presidency? Yes, regardless of your party affiliation, your values, your this, your that, you need to know your history as an American. Why? Because you are an American and you have no problem practicing your freedom of speech, wearing the clothes you chose, and jaywalking in front of the police. In other countries, you would be hung for these same activities. For that, you must recognize yourself as American….for you are, an American.

I can’t tell you which part of your identity – female, Black, American – will take center stage at any time throughout your collegiate career, or any time beyond that. What I will tell you is that you NEED to know how to manage them. I can’t tell you how to or which one is most important to your success. You owe it to yourself to learn how to balance these competing identities. After all, all three parts make you who you are. Moreover, the struggles you’ll face – both blatant, and subliminal – are similar to those that similar young, Black females have faced. Knowing that history will help you understand and cope with an identity that is, well, scarce in most colleges/universities.

Money Saving Tip #1

Hair. Hair. Hair. I guess you can say Chris Rock brought more attention to Black women’s hair than Madam CJ Walker. I’m not about to join the debate surrounding good and bad hair. Can I put in a quick plug though? (Me joining the debate…I can’t help myself!) There’s no such thing as “good hair.” The hair on your head is better than having no hair at all. So, it’s good hair!

Any who, saving money in college is probably one of the hardest things to do – especially if your parents don’t have very much. So, how can you help them, and yourself? Try learning how to do your own hair! It’s just silly to spend hundreds of dollars on a weave or sit up under a dryer for 4 hours each week. There are cases of females not buying books, skipping class, and wearing scarves to class, all in the name of hair! Nonsense. Nonsense. Nonsense. Getting your hair done is a luxury. Yes, a luxury! And, it’s flat out silly. Let me see, you bought a sew-in instead of books? You skipped class to get a roller wrap? You wore a scarf to class to hide it because you’re worried how it looks, but you don’t worry about how it looks when you wear a scarf? Hmm. Where are your priorities? Period. There’s just no argument that can be posed against it. You call yourself an independent woman? Try washing your hair on your own once. Now, I’m not saying jump into putting in a relaxer and all, but washing your hair on your own can save hundreds. You’d be amazed how easy it really is (depending by length and thickness.)


The moral of this story is, put off the luxuries you think you deserve now, so that you can put yourself in a place to have them in the future. When you put school first and manage your finances, you set yourself up for long-term success and stability. Go forth, taking control of your mane, playing India Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair.” Hums along....

Is "Sounding White" A Bad Thing?

Trust me, at some point of your collegiate career someone is going to tell you that you “sound white.” When – not if – but, when someone tells you that you sound white, it may very well be a compliment that means, “You’re a very bright, intelligent person;” OR, it may be a shot at you that means “You’re a sell out, and you’ve forgotten where you came from.” Either way, both meanings, along with the notion that one can “sound white,” comes from a place of ignorance and your response should be… “Since when has speaking properly been the sole responsibility and privilege of white people? Intelligence has no color and thus, I’m exercising my right to express my own intelligence.” Point. Blank. PERIOD. Regardless if someone says you sound white out of love or hate(r), laugh at them…then pray for them, because for some reason, they’ve been convinced that having a bit of brainpower, coupled with an appreciation for making some friggin’ sense when you speak and an affinity for not sounding like a fool adds up to “sounding white.” Whew, I could go on for days, but I’ll move on for your sake and mine.

At the end of the day, there are individuals who seek to “sound white” in order to get a pass because they believe that is the only way you can “make it” in this world. Pray for them as well and move on. Hopefully, one day they’ll learn. One day, they’ll have that rude awakening and they’ll look back to realize that they lost themselves somewhere along the way. You don’t have to be that person though. No, there aren’t as many people of color in powerful positions for us to look up to with regard to how we communicate. There are enough, though, and they certainly aren’t trying to pass. You can stay in your comfort zone, be true to yourself, and find success without “sounding white.” All I can ask you to do is please speak with some sense. Now, you don’t have to put on your best Becky voice to sound like you have sense or in order to be taken seriously, but there are a few things that are absolutely necessary. Please don’t replace “th” with “f.” It’s not “wif,” it’s “with.” It’s not “nuffin,’” it’s “nothing.” Don’t add extra “eds” at the end of words that already them. “Neededed” should be “needed.” Also, some words simply don’t exist. “Conversate” does not exist in any language; it’s “converse.” “Irregardless” is a double negative. It’s not “irregardless what you think, I’s smart.” It’s “regardless what you think, I’m smart.” Other than that, stay in your comfort zone. You don’t have to use twelve letter words to make your point. Trust me. A Professor once told me “KISS” – “Keep It Simple Stupid.” Yes, I was offended, but his words stick with me. You don’t have to say “a two-legged, feathered egg creating animal made a conscious, cognitive decision to alter its current physical location in order to relocate to an ideal, more suitable locality.” Just say, “the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.” Point taken. Simple. There’s nothing worse than someone who thinks they’re sounding intelligent and yet, their showing their ignorance. So, the moral of this story: Keep It Simple Stupid. Know what you’re talking about and stay true to yourself. You are intelligent and you don't have to try to prove that to others by "sounding white.” Go forth and speak with confidence, assurance, and in your own voice. Peace.

The Outsider Within (Cue dramatic music)

The first few posts have been, well, watered down – to say the least. The plan was to ease you in to college life by giving you the basics. Now that you’re prepped and ready, it’s time to get real. Really, really, real!

Being a woman of color at a PWI (predominately white institution) is like…well, it’s like being an outsider within. It’s like being the elephant in the room. It’s like being the red-headed step child. I remember my first day of undergrad. Here I was, away from home, excited about learning, and most of all, ready to meet new people. So, after I unpacked, I thought I’d venture off, out into this new world and do just that – meet some new people. Once I got outside, I realized I wasn’t in Kansas anymore Toto. No one looked like me. When I say no one, I mean NO ONE. Here were all of these new people whom I wanted to meet, but I couldn’t. They were being dropped off in BMWs, Mercedes, and minivans. They were being dropped off by mom and dad and they were nothing like me. I thought to myself, “How are we supposed to relate?” “How could I spark up a convo?” BLANK STARE. Then, I decided to just wait on my roommate, because we’d have to talk. Well, when she finally moved in, she went on an on about how here mom was pissed because she maxed out her credit card for the month. After all, is $2,500 that big of a deal? Come on! THOUGHT BUBBLE: Give me a break, you spoiled rich brat! It didn’t stop there though. On the first day of classes, I remember getting to class super early. I was ‘xcited! Here I was, sitting in a classroom that could hold 500 people. What will happen? Who will I meet? What will I learn? I can’t wait! Then…as my fellow classmates began to file in, I realized that the two seats on either side of me were empty. There were literally people sitting on the stairs, but there were free seats sitting next to me. When I scanned the room, I saw similar things happening with other students of color. WTF? This is when I had my “ah ha” moment. Over the next four years of undergrad and two years of grad school, I noticed time and time again, people wouldn’t sit next to me. They’d lap up before taking a seat next to me. (Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it sure did seem like they’d rather hang from the ceilings than sit next to me). When I’d answer questions, instructors would act like my answer was wrong or incomplete. Then, another – lighter – student would say something that made no sense on any planet, and that answer would be…yep, you guessed it – correct. WTF? Then, once the instructor realized I knew what the heck I was talking about, he or she would just stop calling on me.

This longwinded story isn’t meant to scare you off. My goal is to prepare you for some alienation, some loneliness, and some flat out bull. Let’s be completely Frank, Francine, and honest with each other. We are an anomaly. We are not supposed to make it to college. However, in some people’s minds, because of Affirmative Action, a few of us are allowed to slip in to fill a certain, small quota (I’m throwing up in my mouth as I type this – but it is our reality). However, even if you are allowed in to a college classroom, you are expected to be seen and not heard. You sure as heck are not supposed to come in, participate, smile, nod, take notes, stay attentive, and above all else, KNOW WHAT THE HECK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! When you do these things, they don’t know what to do with themselves. All that they’ve heard, watched, read, believed, learned, and created in their minds about students of color is thrown out the window when you answer a question correctly, when you challenge the bologna that comes out of the ethnocentric instructor’s mouth, when you prove that you deserve to be there (probably more than the very people who give you dirty looks). HA! When people look at you crazy because you’re on top of your game, well, smile, nod and keep doing what you’re doing, because regardless how out of place you may look (and sometimes feel) you deserve to be there, you deserve to learn, and you deserve to succeed!

Oh, and one last thing…that feeling of being an outsider on the inside, yeah, that won’t stop once you graduate. Unless you go into business for yourself, you will probably be one of the only, if not THE only, person of color in your respective organization as you climb the proverbial ladder to success. Yeah, so, you’ll be proving yourself for a very long time. People will continue to be surprised that you “speak properly,” that “you’re so bright,” and that you “have a degree from (insert college or graduate program here).” Hey, I don’t write the rules, I just share ‘em with you. Peace.

Is There a Such Thing As a "Stupid Question?"

My apologies, but there’s no clever introduction to this one. I have to jump right into the answer to the question of the day…YES, YES, YES, there is a such thing as a “stupid question.” So, the real question is, how do I make sure I’m not the one, asking all of the stupid questions. Well, the best way to make sure you never ask a stupid question is by, well, by simply paying attention. There is nothing more embarrassing – and by embarrassing, I mean people laughing at you – there is nothing more embarrassing than someone who asks a question that was asked and answered just 30 seconds ago. Oh, wait, it’s also pretty darn embarrassing when people ask question and the answer can be found in (1) last night’s readings, (2) the syllabus, or (3) in the PowerPoint slide that’s pulled up right now.

If the Prof says, “Homework assignment #5 is due next Tuesday at the beginning of class,” and you ask five minutes late, “When is #5 due?” Stupid question. Questions like, “When are your office hours?” (likely found on the syllabus), “When is the final paper due?” (on the syllabus), “Why do we have to do this?” (just flat out too stupid to put on the syllabus), or anything similar to these, well, these qualify as “stupid questions.” Please don’t waste your classmates; or the Prof’s time by subliminally telling the entire room, “I don’t take this course seriously. Actually, I don’t take my education seriously and I certainly don’t care if you do because I enjoy being annoying.” Yeah, that’s the subtext of any stupid question.

Word to the wise: Prepare for each class meeting. And if you don’t have the time to do so, or you don’t care to – because there will be days like this – well, don’t say anything. Just sit in the back of the class and nod your head. Don’t interrupt others’ learning. Period. Please remember that college is designed for you to actually learn (believe it or not); and if you can’t respect that, then you’re in the wrong place. All questions should be reserved for advancing your knowledge and increasing your level of understanding of the information. So, reserve questions for just that and please, please, please don’t hesitate to ask questions that help you build knowledge. There’s no more to add. Prepare yourself. Take each class meeting seriously (you’re paying for it). And, don’t interrupt others students who are trying to learn because you don’t care. Next question.

Junior College vs 4-Year University Pt. II

So, you’re seriously considering starting off your collegiate career at a two year junior college, huh? Well, this very well may be the most responsible decision you’ve made in your life. Now, I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way. I’m sure that the successful person you become, that person, that debt-free person appreciates this decision. DISCLAIMER: The Dean of Sistahs University does not argue that one route is better than the other. Again, if your parents, you yourself, the University, or maybe our wonderful government have agreed to pay for you to attend a four-year institution and this won’t leave you in debt, go for it! Those who don’t have the same options are those who I’m talking to in this post.

Okay, now that we’re on the same page, let’s get back to it!

Here are just a few quick tips and little reasoning for each.
1. Take this seriously!
a. Junior college is not a joke; so, if you’re serious about making it to
the next level, please don’t think about junior college as the red-headed step-child of a “real” college. Buckle up, because ju-co’s are very, very real! And, they’re not a piece of cake. Classes will be smaller, but they won’t necessarily be easier. So, take advantage of the smaller classes and the one-on-one attention; but stay on your toes, because you’ll have to work hard.

2. Set a deadline for graduation. (READ: Don't be the seven-year senior)
a. Granted, this might make a few people angry, but procrastination does not rule this nation. Don’t fool yourself, many people go into two year institutions and take seven years to finish or they never finish at all! Yes, there are different obstacles that can prevent folks from finishing. People lose parents, run into financial problems, and some take time off to do some soul searching. Others are, well, just lazy. In any case, life doesn’t stop. You still have to work to survive; so, why not push through the hard times, push through the classes and the coursework, and push through to success. Get ‘er done and finish in 2, 2 ½ years.

3. Be prepared for the extra, more difficult work.
a. If you assume that junior colleges aren’t “real” colleges and the work will be a piece of cake, you’re sadly mistaken. Many of the Professors at Ju-co’s are tenured Profs or doctoral students at the four-year institution up the street. So, you’re getting their expertise at a discounted price. But, they don’t kick their expectations into a lower gear because they’re on a different campus. They’re going to push you. So, yes, Junior colleges are still “real” colleges and you’ll be doing more work and putting in more hours cranking out more homework than you did in high school. Consider yourself warned (gives motherly, squinted eye, I’m looking at you look).

4. Meet with an advisor early and often. (This is the most important thing you do once you get on campus.)
a. The first thing you MUST do is find out if your credits will transfer to four-year institutions. Sometimes, classes only count toward your ju-co Associate’s degree and do not carry over. There is no need in taking classes over again. Don’t waste your life. An easily way to save time once you get to the four-year, find out if your classes can transfer. In order to know this, you also need to start thinking about what college/university you want to transfer to once you finish. Then, you need to start doing your research to find out (1) if they have the program you want, (2) how many students before you successfully transferred to this institution. A lot of ju-co’s have really good relationships and programs that help you progress from the ju-co to the four-year. Ask your advisor about them! Now! In your first year!

5. Keep your grades up! Good grades are a necessity to transfer.
a. No explanation. Keep your grades up! Period. Move on.

6. Get involved on campus.
a. Attend meetings. Take on a leadership position. Volunteer. Start an organization. Walk on to an athletic team. Join the student council. You can’t just have good grades anymore; you have to couple a solid GPA with hours logged in around campus. These things will set you apart from your colleagues and other applicants.

Alright, class is dismissed! Take this advice. Run with it. Share it. Embrace it. Live it! Peace.

Junior College vs. Four-Year University

Wondering if you should start off in the minors or go right to the big leagues? More and more people are choosing to start their collegiate careers at 2-year junior/community colleges instead of jumping right into the much more expensive alternative – mega-Universities. With the economy still recovering from the Rega-Bushanomic hangover, it’s just silly to jump into a 4 – 7 year commitment with a University you don’t even know that well! (Are you sensing the relationship metaphor?) Before you put a ring on it, shop around!

Let me be crystal clear; that perfect diamond that Jay put on Bey’s finger kind of clear. Your first two years at the University are spent taking basic courses like English 101, Effective Public Speaking, Biology 102, Business 103, and so on. Honey, you don’t have to pay 12,000 large for these classes. Trust! If it’s not being paid for by a trust fund, a scholarship, or financial aid, you do NOT have to force yourself to attend a University. Who cares what others think? Who cares where other people are going? If you worry about what other people think about you attending a junior college, you ought to think about your future bank account and how it will feel about paying back $30k - $100k in student loans. Um, yeah.

First of all, most people don’t even make it through their first year. Some don’t even make it through the first semester. So, why throw away tens of thousands of dollars for one year of English 101? It ain’t that exciting! Trust, the government and major companies who hand out loans like hot cakes won’t care that college just wasn’t for you, or that you had to go home to help out your mom, or that it took you a while to adjust and you ended up on academic probation. They don’t care, they want their money as soon as you drop out, give or take 6 months – shout out to Sallie Mae! WHOMP.

In part I of this post, I say go for it! Regardless of what your parents think, where your best friend is going, or what your pride is telling you, really consider your options – ALL of your options. I have great friends who started off at 2-year junior colleges and then transferred to the same University I started my journey in. Guess what, we ended up having the same degree from the same University at the same time, and I can almost guarantee that they have less than ¼ of the debt I have. (Sticks tongue out at them.) In part II of this post, I’ll cover how we can make junior college work for you!