Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

You may be a bit overwhelmed and a little nervous after getting this far through the book. Take a break and woo-sah for just a moment. College will be just as overwhelming, but sometimes, you need to take 10 minutes, an hour, or a half-day to have a woo-sah moment before your head explodes or you go postal on your roommate. Just relax, mama’s here. The key to college – and probably the rest of your life – is not to bite off more than you can chew. Sure, many of us want to save the world – naïve, yes I AM! No, but seriously, many of us want to be ideal children of God, standouts in the classroom, upstanding pillars of the community, burgeoning businesswomen, all the while remaining the twinkle of your familes’ and friends’ eyes. Well, let me be frank, Francine, and honest….there are NOT enough hours in the day, days in the week, or months in the year to do everything and be everything to everyone.

Yes, I advocate applying yourself in all aspects of life – first in the church, but specifically in college, right now – but, but, BUT, you have to know your limits. A week that consists of 18+ credit hours, 10 – 15 hours of work as a server, 3 hours of volunteering at the local Ronald McDonald House, 3 meetings with different organizations, all while being on line for a sorority and applying for summer internships…my sistah…you’re doing too much!

Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing more powerful than a young Black woman who can juggle her many responsibilities, stay on top of her game, all the while remaining absolutely fab-u-lous! But, when you have to start scheduling times to take showers or limiting your calls home because your Grandfather is long-winded, you are doing too much! This is a very bad habit that will not end when you graduate. It will only get worse once you become a wife, mother, and business exec. You will slowly but surely begin to lose sight of your own health and happiness and replace it with plaques, degrees, and accolades. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying quit your job, drop out of school, and live off your credit cards until you become some rapper or athlete’s baby momma (barf!). What I am saying – screaming, actually – is: “you have to manage your time wisely.” Don’t function on autopilot and forget to enjoy your life. Undoubtedly, success is a part of enjoying your life, but not at the expense of your health.

So, cut back on that course load by one class each quarter and budget appropriately so that you can take one or two classes in the summer to stay sharp and end the year on track. Step down from of your post as secretary of this or treasurer of that for a quarter. You can still be involved with that organization by acting as a liaison and attending meetings regularly. Ask your boss if you can cut your schedule by 3-5hrs. Sure, you’re losing out on a few bucks; but, if you budget properly, you can still manage to break even. Say no, once a week when friends are going out or go to library when friends head to the mall. Also, evaluate how you’re spending extra time. If you’re spending hours a day on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Ebay or any other social network, blog, or chat room, you are wasting your life. I’m not saying you cannot frequent these sites – heck, I do! What I am saying is that you’re wasting valuable time that could be used working out, reading the Bible, studying, cleaning up, or even NAPPING! (my personal fav). Any who, stop wasting precious moments checking folks’ statuses. After all, like my girl Ms. Cole once Facebooked, “just a hint, don’t spend too much time on this website, it doesn’t make you money or make you smarter.” Preach.

The moral of this longwinded story is, treat your time like you treat your wallet. Budget, budget, budget. You don’t want to look up and see that your bank account is empty or overdrawn, do you? Think of your time the same way. In the end, you can get more money. You can’t get more time!

Don't Forget to Pack Your Brain with Your Swimsuit

Enjoy your break? Wonderful, because – believe it or not – everyone deserves a break. Hey, maybe that break finally allowed you to read that book that everyone’s been talking about. Maybe, you went to Miami with your best friends to relax in the Sun and forget about the nonsense going on back home. How you make the best of your break is completely up to you, but here at Sistahs U, we don’t break for too long. Repeat and rephrased: we never break for too long! Unfortunately, many of our school systems are set up for students to use the summer as leisure time. Yes, as a child, this was wonderful! It surely accounts for why we love summer more than any other season. However, this break does so little for our minds. We lose our academic edge during the summer by filling our brains with nonsense TV, movies, people, etc. (feel free to add to the list). We even lose some of our hunger for success. The students here at Sistahs U are challenged to spend their summers capitalizing on the opportunities that our more….lazy….competitors pass over. My charge to you is to spend your summer in an internship on Capitol Hill, shadowing a seamstress in New York City, studying international relations in Mexico, or reading up on the overlooked rhetoric of past Presidents. Whatever your cup of tea, don’t forget to pack your brain along with your bathing suit. Don’t take the summer off. Keep pushing. Success doesn’t take the summer off. Neither should you.

Don’t Fall Victim to the “Groupie Trap"

WARNING: In honor of Kat Stacks and the millions of other groupies out there, I had to move this posting up on my list a bit. This post is not meant to offend well-meaning collegiate mothers. This post is geared to the GROUPIES. Again, this post is for all the GROUPIES trapping on our college campuses. This one's for you. (In my R.Kelly voice).

The truth of the matter is, the larger the school, the more future pro-bowlers, all-stars, and Greeks live on that campus. And, let’s keep it real, there are going to be a few who are fine. They have that two-a-days body, stroll line swag, and the sex appeal that comes with being ‘the man.’ Girl stop! Think about it! First of all, he knows he is fine and he knows that last season’s accolades-First team All Conference-or last week’s probate show have upped his property value. More importantly, he has every intention of using this to his advantage.

Next, every other woman on campus is thinking the same thing as you, and he knows that too. He knows that after any game or any party, he will have a few women-black, white, purple or green-willing to get down with the get down. He knows this and he has every intention of making it happen., sealing the deal, smashing, crashing, and tearing something up. He’s not going home by himself on a Friday after hitting the winning shot, scoring the winning touchdown, or setting the NCAA indoor record for the 100. His hormones are rising-literally-and the girl with the biggest butt, shortest dress and nicest legs will get the pleasure of his pleasures. And if she isn’t down for the cause, he will go on to the next best thing (read: the girl with low-self esteem and “Dingbat” for a middle name).

I shouldn’t have to tell you the next point, but I gotta go there. You don’t want to be that girl who is dumb enough to get knocked up by “that guy.” Why? Because every other person on campus is laughing at you! Your parents should be ashamed and your child is here for all the wrong reasons. As for the other groupies on campus, they really are at your throat. Why? Because, they have probably hit that before, currently are hitting that, or plan on hitting it. So, when you-his baby momma-slashes his tires, calls her phone looking for him, or sits proudly in the stands with his face ironed on a t-shirt, you become the running joke of campus. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? Is that what you came to school for? Newsflash, you are a baby mama and there is no, nor ever will be, a positive image or definition of this “title.” I hate to bring it to your attention, but he will never take you home for Christmas, nor will he ever tell anyone about you. You will just be, his “crazy baby mama.” Did you waste somebody’s money to go to college to be “that girl who was silly enough to have homie’s baby.”

You also don’t want to be that girl who bounces from frat to ball team. Don’t be that girl who does some self-reflection during your senior year, and you realize that you’ve screwed a few bruhs from this fraternity, a few more from another, rolled around with some football players, and played one-on-one with the starting five. That’s a groupie, and you don’t want to be that girl! That ain’t cute! Don’t let any reality tv show or tell-all book make you think otherwise.

Finally, it’s not cool! Not what’s up! It’s not alright to have sex with a guy because of his “status.” That is not a habit that you EVER want to get into. I’m not saying that you can never be with a man in a fraternity or date a star athlete. You can dibble and dabble, but you need to be careful. First and foremost, protect yourself. Not just physically, by wearing a condom; but also emotionally, be careful not to fall victim to the game. Don’t fool yourself or try to fool him by saying that you can have sex and not fall for him. 'No strings attached’ is a binding contract, because the subtitle reads 'after we have sex, I will stare at my phone until you text or call.' It’s a fact of life. And please, please, please, don’t think you can change him! You can cook all of the breakfasts and bake all of the cupcakes, pay all of the Sprint bills and do all of the homework you want, but, you’re not going to change him! He won’t commit if he‘s not ready. Going back to what I said earlier, he knows what he’s got! He knows that damn near every woman on campus is willing to do whatever he says and give him whatever he wants. So ladies, proceed with caution!

Sistahs U Approved: scripting the black masculine body: identity, discourse, and racial politics in popular media

And I Quote…

…many contemporary rappers who identify with the thug profile somehow have convinced themselves they have taken agency in lifting up their communities by claiming their origins in the ghettoes, which supposedly ensures that they have not forgotten their Black heritage. To prove this, they make gallant attempts to define their realities and rescript their Black bodies; instead, however, they have only complied with the stereotypical illusions about Black male bodies as violent, irresponsible, and lewd. Even though the mostly oversized prison-inspired apparel, Timberland boots, and regionally defined accessories (i.e., bandanas, gold teeth, cornrows, etc.) accompany the thug image for some and immediately conjure negative images, they are merely the epicenter of a more arcane inscription-the essentialism of the Black male image and presentation of it in a consonance with the archetypal minstrel brute belonging exclusively to the underclass…

…End Quote

Yes, he referred to gold teeth rockin’, Tims sportin’ thugs as minstrel brutes who present the archetypal minstrel. Agree with him or not, Dr. Jackson leaves us with food for thought.

Read and learn scholars.

Image courtesy of www.hiphopbeatstop.com

Sistahs U Approved: The Business of Being Born

Image courtesy of vialogue.files.wordpress.com

Healthcare reform is the latest buzz. Duh! I know. I'd like to be the first one to say that healthcare is pointless if we don't educate ourselves. (Yep, I said it). While this post may not help you in the classroom, it is important that we are critical in and out of University setting.

Future mothers, or current mothers hoping to add to their family, check out the documentary by Ricki Lake - The Business of Being Born! This film will help you question the system (and the puppets within it). It will empower you to take back control of your body. Please make sure that YOU are making the right decision for YOU. Get informed. Ignorance is not bliss.

I'll admit, I've never given birth, but, I am informed. So, if you're even remotely curious about additional options for child birth, check out this film. You don't have to agree with it, but you'll be less likely to be another puppet/victim of the system.

:::Fight the Power:::

MORAL OF THE STORY: Educate yourself sistahs, you need to know your options!

Don’t be a Hater!

Now, I know the title may catch a few folks off guard (secretly, that’s kind of the point). Read on. As you climb the ladder to success, you will come across some sistahs who are not as motivated as you are. You’ll want to understand why they refuse to get it together and you may even pray for them. And then, you will come across some sistahs who are equally, or even more motivated than you. They’ll graduate summa cum laude. They’ll win awards for their community service. They’ll earn internships in the most competitive companies. They’ll be just as successful as you. And, as much as you want to be happy for them and although you may have even told them how happy you are for them, a little bit of your inner hater will boil up. You won’t understand why, but that inner hater will consistently pop up as you see young Black women, like yourself, changing their Facebook statuses to say that they’ve been accepted to Law school at our HBCU’s, or statuses that they’ve earned a position at Fortune 100 companies, or statuses even say that they’re engaged; maybe the statuses say that they’re moving to the big city to follow their dreams. In the end, as happy as you are for them, there is a part of you that is hatin’ – maybe even jealous (I won’t leak that secret though).
Why is this? Because we see few of us making it to the top. Now, don’t get me wrong, more and more of us are making it to the top these days, but there are still very few (when we think of proportions). So, you assume that “making it” is a competition. After all, isn’t that the American way? So, when you see another one of “us” getting into Law school, going to Med school, starting a business, just friggin’ being happy; we, subconsciously, feel as if they took the last spot; a spot that was supposed to be reserved for us.

STOP IT AND PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE!

I’d argue that this is the demise of sisterhood. When did we stop looking out for one another? When did we stop working our way up the ladder, and looking back to pull someone else up with us? When did we turn against our sister instead of turning to her? When did success become something we wanted to celebrate alone? I won’t reply. I’ll just leave you with these questions. So, the next time your inner hater starts to boil up, ask yourselves these questions.

What Should I do in a Boring Class?

First, pay attention. There is ALWAYS something to learn. If you leave the classroom without a better understanding of some concept or newfound knowledge about a given topic, then you are cheating yourself, not the Prof. Yeah, I said it! No, each and every class will not be a life altering experience. However, there is always something to learn, if you open your mind up to it.

So, what can you do? Ask analytical or critical questions. (Great conversation starter) Some of my most interesting classes and discussions were those in which someone asked the tough question, or asked if we could take a look at the concept from a different vantage point. You can call these individuals “the devil’s advocate.”

If you’re not the individual who asks the tough questions, at least get involved in the conversation. Offer your two cents. Allow your views to be challenged and develop. Let yourself evolve as a student, as a scholar. It’s okay. Really, being involved in your education is okay.

PS: When you participate in conversations in class, the class actually goes by quicker. Real life. I don’t make this stuff up, I just write it.