Monday, May 10, 2010
WARNING: In honor of Kat Stacks and the millions of other groupies out there, I had to move this posting up on my list a bit. This post is not meant to offend well-meaning collegiate mothers. This post is geared to the GROUPIES. Again, this post is for all the GROUPIES trapping on our college campuses. This one's for you. (In my R.Kelly voice).
The truth of the matter is, the larger the school, the more future pro-bowlers, all-stars, and Greeks live on that campus. And, let’s keep it real, there are going to be a few who are fine. They have that two-a-days body, stroll line swag, and the sex appeal that comes with being ‘the man.’ Girl stop! Think about it! First of all, he knows he is fine and he knows that last season’s accolades-First team All Conference-or last week’s probate show have upped his property value. More importantly, he has every intention of using this to his advantage.
Next, every other woman on campus is thinking the same thing as you, and he knows that too. He knows that after any game or any party, he will have a few women-black, white, purple or green-willing to get down with the get down. He knows this and he has every intention of making it happen., sealing the deal, smashing, crashing, and tearing something up. He’s not going home by himself on a Friday after hitting the winning shot, scoring the winning touchdown, or setting the NCAA indoor record for the 100. His hormones are rising-literally-and the girl with the biggest butt, shortest dress and nicest legs will get the pleasure of his pleasures. And if she isn’t down for the cause, he will go on to the next best thing (read: the girl with low-self esteem and “Dingbat” for a middle name).
I shouldn’t have to tell you the next point, but I gotta go there. You don’t want to be that girl who is dumb enough to get knocked up by “that guy.” Why? Because every other person on campus is laughing at you! Your parents should be ashamed and your child is here for all the wrong reasons. As for the other groupies on campus, they really are at your throat. Why? Because, they have probably hit that before, currently are hitting that, or plan on hitting it. So, when you-his baby momma-slashes his tires, calls her phone looking for him, or sits proudly in the stands with his face ironed on a t-shirt, you become the running joke of campus. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? Is that what you came to school for? Newsflash, you are a baby mama and there is no, nor ever will be, a positive image or definition of this “title.” I hate to bring it to your attention, but he will never take you home for Christmas, nor will he ever tell anyone about you. You will just be, his “crazy baby mama.” Did you waste somebody’s money to go to college to be “that girl who was silly enough to have homie’s baby.”
You also don’t want to be that girl who bounces from frat to ball team. Don’t be that girl who does some self-reflection during your senior year, and you realize that you’ve screwed a few bruhs from this fraternity, a few more from another, rolled around with some football players, and played one-on-one with the starting five. That’s a groupie, and you don’t want to be that girl! That ain’t cute! Don’t let any reality tv show or tell-all book make you think otherwise.
Finally, it’s not cool! Not what’s up! It’s not alright to have sex with a guy because of his “status.” That is not a habit that you EVER want to get into. I’m not saying that you can never be with a man in a fraternity or date a star athlete. You can dibble and dabble, but you need to be careful. First and foremost, protect yourself. Not just physically, by wearing a condom; but also emotionally, be careful not to fall victim to the game. Don’t fool yourself or try to fool him by saying that you can have sex and not fall for him. 'No strings attached’ is a binding contract, because the subtitle reads 'after we have sex, I will stare at my phone until you text or call.' It’s a fact of life. And please, please, please, don’t think you can change him! You can cook all of the breakfasts and bake all of the cupcakes, pay all of the Sprint bills and do all of the homework you want, but, you’re not going to change him! He won’t commit if he‘s not ready. Going back to what I said earlier, he knows what he’s got! He knows that damn near every woman on campus is willing to do whatever he says and give him whatever he wants. So ladies, proceed with caution!